Ruby Santa Marta De Ortigueira Sexual Massage ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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So sexual-massage, yeah? It’s like a massage, but spicy, innit. Them hands ain’t just kneadin’ ya back - they’re goin’ *places*, fam. Little-known fact - back in ancient times, them Chinese emperors was gettin’ these rubs to “balance their chi” or summat. Probs just an excuse to get freaky, haha! Makes me laff thinkin’ about some posh git in a robe tryna play it cool while he’s all oiled up.

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I meet loads of quirky characters. I ran into a guy once who was like, “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” and I nearly cracked up because it sounded like my brain on a weird day. Some of these spots remind me of days when I’d code in cafes till midnight. They all give the city a kind of hushed magic. It's all kinda like those offbeat Coen movie twists, you know?

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